Sincerenity

This was Week 63 of my weight loss journey to naturally lose half my weight. It has been a rough last couple of weeks honestly.

A few weeks ago I hit 35 pounds lost! I was so happy! I was really in a groove and felt like I had this thing down. Then the next week I weighed in, I had gained 3 pounds, which brought me back up to 32 pounds lost total. Honestly, I did not worry about that too much, weight fluctuates for reasons beyond control, and I knew I was doing all I could, and was proud of the routine I had built!

Well…. That changed. And it changed fairly quickly. There have been some things in my personal life, mostly regarding my job, that is weighing me down. I’ve felt like I weigh 1,000 pounds. Not sad, just meh and ugh. Not motivated to do anything. In just a week, I didn’t just take one step forward and two steps back, no, I felt like I just straight up took 10 steps back.

What happened? What went wrong?

Okay, I admit it… Maybe I was getting a little too confident and maybe had a bit of an ego and felt invincible. Things were going so well, so I don’t think anyone would blame me about that. But I felt like just because I had an amazing month of progress that all of my issues were solved.

Haha…… NOPE.

Did I make a lot of progress? Yes, I’ve made amazing progress! Have I learned a lot about myself? Oh yes! Am I cured of all my problems? No, I am not.

The reason I gained all of my weight to begin with is because I was an emotional eater. I consistently over-ate to cope with any feeling: “good” or “bad”. I was also incredibly inactive. I never moved if I didn’t have to. There are other components but those are the main ones.

So to lose weight, I’m unraveling that, and reversing it. I’m working on gaining control of my emotional eating and learning to eat more intuitively. Way easier said than done.

I went 7.5 weeks without binging or emotionally eating. That’s definitely a record for me! But, like I mentioned before, sadly I’m not invincible, even to my own habits.

So I messed up, and that’s ok! I talk more about this in Recovering from a Binge.

My weight loss journey has been an amazing, emotional, difficult one. It’s been messy, but I’ve learned a lot. I feel like I’ve done pretty well on my own, but I feel stuck and that I’m at a point where I just need some help. So this week I made a big decision and investment and I got a weight loss coach! I signed up with the Liza Marie Fit program. So I’m excited to see how that goes!

I want to document my weight loss journey. Mostly for myself, but I hope it could help someone else too. I noticed a lot of people who’ve lost weight will post about it after, which is fine, but I don’t see many people documenting during their journey as it’s happening, so I want to be one of those people!

The thing with content creation, is I have felt like I can only make ✨aesthetic✨ videos. People typically only want to post their most perfect pictures and videos. These last few weeks I have really learned that a weight loss journey is a beautiful experience, but it is not what most people would describe as aesthetic. At least, for me it hasn’t.

With documenting, I only record what I want to record. In other words, I only show you what I want you to see. While I strive to be transparent and honest about my weight loss journey, I’m a human and make mistakes. More often then not though, I forget 😂. I forget to post, forget to record or take a picture, and sometimes I also just want to eat a meal without taking a picture of it first.

While I do enjoy documenting my progress, at the end of the day, what ends up on social media is not as important. I’m really not trying to prove anything to anyone but myself, and it’s that I can do it. What’s most important is that I’m trying to better myself and improve my life. Yes, I do want to be more consistent about posting, but the most important thing is what happens in our real life and what we do for ourselves, not how we look to others.

Here’s to another week in my weight loss journey. Have an amazing week everyone 😊