I’ve decided to start documenting my weight loss journey a little more. Hopefully it will help someone else, but I also hope it will help me.
Monday, July 10, 2023: I got out of bed at 6:22am. Even though my goal is to wake up at 6, this is a huge improvement for me. I usually wake up at 7:40. I drank some water first thing and started journaling. I meditated and did some light yoga. Right now I’m just trying to create a habit of moving everyday, not forcing myself to do sweaty hardcore workouts. That’s now how I want to start my mornings right now. I’m just glad I woke up early enough to get some movement in. I woke up and realized my apple watch wasn’t charged, and I literally had the thought: I can’t workout without it. Well, it’s nice to have, but I can literally work out without a watch 😅
Even though I was in bed by 10, I couldn’t fall asleep until about 1am. Mostly because I was so hungry it was keeping me up. But I didn’t want to eat more because I was already over my calorie limit. But then I realized, I need to listen to my body. It’s hungry, so it’s telling me it’s hungry. This is different than feeling a binge come on. So I got up and ate.
Recently I started following Chris Terrell on TikTok, and one thing he said in one of his videos I saw tonight was “it’s amazing how often I ate food that I thought I wanted but in fact is was just there”. I am trying to be in a calorie deficit, I don’t believe counting calories is everything but I do believe it will help me especially in the beginning. The reason I was so over my limit today (and why I generally struggle with binge eating) is because if food is available, I eat it. It’s just there. I’m still learning how to control it. Tonight, I was feeling weak since it was after midnight and I couldn’t sleep. We recently got a huge bag of cookies from some family, and I’m not sure how many I’ve eaten today but it’s got to be at least 10. I’m even trying to avoid gluten because I’m sensitive to it but even that isn’t motive enough to not eat it since it’s there. So that’s one thing I’m working on. But honestly, it has improved a lot. My binge eating isn’t happening as frequently anymore. Also, last week was the 4th of July and I attended a family barbecue. Normally, I would fill my plate to the brim and go back for seconds and thirds, but I noticed this time I grabbed what I wanted, which didn’t fill up the whole plate, and I felt satisfied enough after that I didn’t want seconds.
Water: 60 oz
Calories: 2868 (868 over)
Tuesday, July 11, 2023: I slept horribly last night. I didn’t get up until 7:40, my old habit. The reason I have a problem with that is because it’s 20 minutes until I have to leave for work. I hate feeling rushed, but I frequently do it to myself. This morning was harder, I grabbed some healthy things I had time for like yogurt and a kind bar, but I knew that wasn’t going to last me long. When I got to my office I doordashed McDonald’s. Another moment of weakness… There’s always a cascading snowballing event that occurs when I don’t prepare for the week. When I don’t go out and buy groceries, then meal prep, then I don’t have lunches for the week and I eat out.
Water: 70 oz
Calories: 2800 (800 over)
Wednesday, July 12, 2023 Well I woke up at 7 but I had an early meeting so I still woke up 29 minutes before I had to go to work. Didn’t had any time to bring any food and I am going to be in a meeting all day so I won’t have time to go get some so I doordashed Chick-fil-A. Man I feel like I start off this week so good and this is not how I imagined my week to go. But it’s ok.
At work, I imagined getting home and doing dishes, laundry, and vacuuming. When I got home, I made dinner and then laid on the couch and watched TikToks for 3 hours.
Calories: 2440 (440 over)
Water: 100 oz
Thursday, July 13th, 2023 I’m realizing that I have an all or nothing mindset. I feel like when I eat healthy things but am also eating unhealthy things, the healthy things don’t count. But they do! Eating healthy is good whenever I do it and is never meaningless.
Things I’ve learned this week:
- I have an all or nothing mindset
- I’m eating food because it’s available, not because I want it
- My body is capable but my mind is both weaker and stronger (I want to workout, but I want to sleep more)
Sincerenity 
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